A tale I tell
May. 31st, 2005 03:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
waitingforsimonWell its finished, a short tale about how I'm feeling inside about my memory problems the MS is giving me. I would appreciate your comments...
Fragile, my stuttering mind glances back, old memories haunt the recesses of my heart. Things I said or did wrong, badly, words pour out with little thought or imagination resulting in hurt and misjudged interpretation.
Words jar my memories with tears of regret. Of lost love, and friendship never to be returned. Anger spiking and tearing flesh and bone to the core, lies and hate remain scarring the bloodied wounds.
What is the truth? Is it the reordered memories I store in my brain? Is it the pull that tells me there is something I have forgotten? I have forgotten the facts, twisted truth, words, and logic until nothing is real.
As far back as I can remember I have had the demon of lies sitting next to me, turning facts, snatches of information, and truth within my mind. Whispering stories and calling me for the fight of my life.
Nobody knows me, not even I could tell you what my childhood was like. I see small flashes of playing in the garden, being in my Dad's truck, but photographs throw me into turmoil...was I even there?
My clearest memory is dad taking me to a bridge, with my Sindy doll and a bright yellow summer dress I posed, the sun in my eyes, my age? 5 or 6 maybe...does the memory exist because of the photographs pressed behind plastic? Or do I really remember the sun and the heat? The demon laughs, it makes me recoil from the thought, from the stupid questions that have no answers i can discover.
Spread beneath the tree of confusion, my mind has been taken from me. This illness has clothed my brain preventing clarity. I feel lost, broken, like a doll with an arm missing nobody wants to play with.
Well there it is, it was difficult to write, but I needed to get out the fear and confusion memory loss brings. Hope you liked it Bxxx
Fragile, my stuttering mind glances back, old memories haunt the recesses of my heart. Things I said or did wrong, badly, words pour out with little thought or imagination resulting in hurt and misjudged interpretation.
Words jar my memories with tears of regret. Of lost love, and friendship never to be returned. Anger spiking and tearing flesh and bone to the core, lies and hate remain scarring the bloodied wounds.
What is the truth? Is it the reordered memories I store in my brain? Is it the pull that tells me there is something I have forgotten? I have forgotten the facts, twisted truth, words, and logic until nothing is real.
As far back as I can remember I have had the demon of lies sitting next to me, turning facts, snatches of information, and truth within my mind. Whispering stories and calling me for the fight of my life.
Nobody knows me, not even I could tell you what my childhood was like. I see small flashes of playing in the garden, being in my Dad's truck, but photographs throw me into turmoil...was I even there?
My clearest memory is dad taking me to a bridge, with my Sindy doll and a bright yellow summer dress I posed, the sun in my eyes, my age? 5 or 6 maybe...does the memory exist because of the photographs pressed behind plastic? Or do I really remember the sun and the heat? The demon laughs, it makes me recoil from the thought, from the stupid questions that have no answers i can discover.
Spread beneath the tree of confusion, my mind has been taken from me. This illness has clothed my brain preventing clarity. I feel lost, broken, like a doll with an arm missing nobody wants to play with.
Well there it is, it was difficult to write, but I needed to get out the fear and confusion memory loss brings. Hope you liked it Bxxx
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Date: 2005-06-01 09:27 pm (UTC)